Monday, June 30, 2014

a night of wedding dancing is the best night of the year


Those who know me should be able to spout off a few basic facts pretty easily: I love coffee, I am an introvert, I talk about Pennsylvania with romantic nostalgia. I also love weddings, especially the dancing. Lucky for me, my friends keep getting married. So not only do I get a few good nights of dancing in each year, but I've also learned a lot about how to navigate the dance floor.

Here are the characters you'll find and how to dance with them:

The two girls who wish they were in the club: These two women are friends and have stuck together the whole evening. Their dresses are a just a little too short and too tight, and they are wearing heels that are just a little too high to be classy. Even though there are available men at the wedding, they have chosen to dance just the two of them. They help each other perfect their club-dancing moves. Song: Fancy by Iggy Azalea. Leave them be, they are enjoying their small world that is revolving around them.

The white man: He is in his element when a classic rock song comes one. At this point shirts are untucked, sleeves are rolled up (if they weren't already), fists are pumped, air guitars are played. Even though I am white, I still don't get it. Song: Don't Stop Believing by Journey or Sweet Child of Mine by Guns and Roses. Sing the lyrics if you know them and try to enjoy it. That's all they really want, is for people to love this music as much as they do.

The young skinny guy who is dancing alone: His moves consist of the robot and making some swirly motions around his head with his hands. His demeanor is self-serious. Nobody else knows who he came with or how he knows the bride and groom. He semi-secretly wants to be the center of any dance circle that forms. Song: Midnight City by M83. This is actually a tricky one. You will either want to steer clear if he is on some kind of substance (or you think he should be), or he may actually be really fun to dance with.

The kids: Everyone is secretly jealous of them because they don't need moves, they just run around and have the time of their lives. Parent's pick them up and spin them around. They are up past their bedtime and loving it. Song: They can dance to anything. DANCE WITH THEM.

The single woman in her thirties: She is well-dressed and well-put-together but has a limited number of moves, which includes raising her hands when someone is in the dance circle and bopping back and forth with her palms facing out at her bust line.* Song: Anything by Beyonce. Especially pre-2005. Don't feel sorry for this woman and her dated dance moves, this is one of her best nights of the year.

*If you didn't catch on, this is me.
**Photo via a fellow instagrammer who attended a recent wedding with me. Please don't sue me.

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