the questions themselves

Is there a magic notebook where I can write down all the questions I keep asking myself that have no good answer? Then the question, once written, would somehow be resolved and never needed to be asked again? If you find a journal like that, tell me where you bought it. Or add these questions on my behalf:

Why can’t I write better?

Why is my voice so weird?

When will I get over that friendship that I ended, but then realized that she was ending it, too?

Why can’t I get my act together?

Why didn’t he like me?

Why does my hair do that?

Why can’t I express myself more clearly?

Why can’t I be more like her?

Why do I always seem to get stuck at mediocre when I try to be really good at something?

And maybe I’d like another journal where you can write down questions and the answer magically appears the next time you open it. My list would include:

What do I do with regret?

Can I be truly happy?

Am I missing out on something big as a single person?

If I risk big things to go after some dreams, will I be ok if I fail?

Instead, maybe I’ll write on the inside cover of my real journal — the one in which I am usually too timid to write these questions — one of my favorite quotes:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.

-Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet